This tells the story of how The Blue Lotus Speaks came to be….
So, obviously, Chapter 2 will contain the update on the special moments of this healing weekend.
As I mentioned previously, when I found the Proclamation for Tchiya Amet Day from Mayor Kirk Watson in a box in January 2014, I really had no idea what it represented or where it might take me. When I began my 40 Day detox, I was pretty close to rock bottom emotionally, spiritually, financially, creatively, even mentally, So grateful to have my health! I just could not get things going in a positive direction. I did not know what to do with my music, and I certainly did not know how to take my healing journey to the next level.
Well, that little document manifested an amazing musical wellness event, and an action that I have wanted to take for 30 years, but didn’t even know it is what I wanted to do! LOL!
What follows are photos from the weekend.
During the course of this weekend adventure, there has been sooooo much healing. Including, my healing with Austin Texas Hill Country. I swam in Barton Springs, Krause Springs and Deep Eddy. I was able to let go of so much pain, that I was able to fall in love with Austin all over again. I was able to call upon happy times when I frequented these swimming holes with my family. I wasn’t sad one bit! I was totally stunned and blissed out at the same time. Those waters are so healing and loving and nurturing. Wasn’t even cold compared to the snow melt Eel River of Mendo County! LOL!!
On Thursday June 5 I visited the astronomy dept at UT Austin 16th floor, where I was once a grad student. I went to see what I had missed. The place looks the same after 30 years. It was amazing. My emotions were fluctuating rapidly: happy to not be locked in a cubicle, yet sad that I did not become an astronomer/astronaut. I ran into a former professor. I took a photo outside what was once my office. I cried A LOT! Whew. release. Exhale.
I also visited the place where I had the encounter. In other words, where my so called friend, colleague, mentor, and like a brother to me slipped me mickey when I went to visit him one day after class, just like any other normal day. The building is no longer there. They have built something brand new and different. The tree is still there. The tree knows what happened. Even some ravens came to rest in the tree.
Also went swimming. Ran into so many fiends that I had not seen in well, 13 years!
Friday I went to visit SafePlace Shelter for survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence. While I was walking towards the address, I passed by a beautiful Teal Blue apartment complex. I knew I was in the right place, I have never seen an apartment building painted the colors of sexual assault awareness before. TEAL! The apartment building is the transitional housing. Inside the emergency shelter, it felt like community housing, with individual families sharing group space pods. There is a full and complete school all the way up to high school. There is a commissary, so the residents never have to leave the facility. Much of the food is provided via donations. All of this makes it easier for the children to adjust and feel comfortable in the midst of chaos. There is also a separate residence for men. Unfortunately, men experience sexual assault too, and it is reported even less than by women.
SafePlace is ending sexual and domestic violence through safety, healing, prevention and social change.
Didn’t feel appropriate to take photos, but here is video clip from the website…
I was able to reconnect with dear friends that knew me well before I started to play music professionally. I was able to see who I was as a younger woman, and reconnect with her/my younger self, as well. So many good feelings were being blocked by painful and negative memories. I even got to play music with my former life partner, an unexpected bonus that brought even more healing to the event on June 7.
Here is our first Mercury Retrograde Experience: Oya showed up (Yoruba Ancestor of Storms and Wind) and blew one of the tents UP OVER THE STAGE. FLIPPED IT RIGHT OVER THE STAGE, LANDED UPSIDE DOWN, BEHIND THE STAGE, PRESSING ON A POWER LINE. WHEW!
But that did not stop the show….
There was a Cosmic Sound Healing demonstration and Akeleah led us in a beautiful guided meditation. During the Musical Wellness event on Tchiya Amet Day, we even had a discussion circle. It was very powerful. We held a conversation about sexual assault. There were people of all ages, including a beautiful young family. Voices Against Violence was on hand to get the communications started. (Let me remind you that this event took place on the first day of this current Mercury Retrograde period…) It was sacred. It was real. It was the beginning of a future dialogue and the beginning of a movement. What I learned from this conversation is that prevention is key.
Synchronistically, there was another event with a similar theme: “Seeds of Hope – A Resource Fair and Celebration for Survivors of Domestic Violence.” | June 7, 2014
Austin City Hall 2 PM-6 PM held on the same day and time! Next year, we will join forces for an even more successful event.
During a Sunday Rising session at Ecstatic Dance in Austin (?? Who knew that this powerful sacred form of group prayer began in Texas???) I was showered with downloads about what to do with my music and all of my creative skills and efforts. Even what to do with my life energy from that moment on. It was amazing! Just like my coach Jeffrey Van Dyk from bigvisionbusiness always says: “Whatever is in the way, IS the way!” Let me tell you, my trauma was in the way for 30 years! AND IT IS NO LONGER IN THE WAY: IT HAS BEEN TRANSFORMED INTO THE WAY. TRANSFORMING MY POISON INTO MEDICINE FOR THE ENTIRE PLANET. Now all that remains is to watch this Teal Blue Lotus Blossom unfold…..
You might be wondering how did I come to choose the TEAL Blue Lotus?
Blue Lotus from Kemet; symbolizes consciousness, enlightenment. Symbolizes the throat chakra, yes, and also the womb chakra. They are so connected you know….Blue? Purifying the consciousness, knowledge. When doing womb clearings, I utilize blue cosmic energy to unify and renew the womb to her original state with every breath. The throat chakra of course is a beautiful turquoise blue color. The color for SAA (Sexual Assault Awareness) is TEAL! Saa is a Kemetic word that translates into knowledge with feeling. Put all of this together, and you can see how the name came to be….THE BLUE LOTUS SPEAKS: END THE SILENCE, END THE VIOLENCE.
So, what happened on Monday? MORE SWIMMING! The Barton Springs Pool is still amazing….so healing…
Next, I took a trip to the Austin Police Department, where I proceeded to file a report against my assailant, yes 30 years after the encounter.
It was just something that I had to do in order to move forward. I have waited for so long to make sure that I was taking the right action. This entire event manifested from my pure heart, from a pure desire for healing and to see justice. there is much confusion about whether or not I can press charges. There was no statute of limitation on rape at the time, nor were there any DNA samples. I am not attached to the outcome. So we shall have to see how this plays out. I feel so much better now that I have “come out” about the assault. I feel so inspired to focus my efforts towards ending the silence and ending the violence.
At the end of the Circle, Erin of VAV asked us what we can commit to do to help raise awareness about sexual assault in the coming week. I answered that I was going to the police station. DID THAT!
I also have made the commitment to wear TEAL everyday, even if it is “just” toenail polish. Accents. Now I see teal everywhere. And you know what? It really helps me get thru tuff moments. i am not sure if all of the people that wear teal are aware of the symbolism, but it doesn’t matter. It makes me feel better whenever I see it. It reminds me that I am not alone. It reminds me that each time we speak up, raise awareness, listen to someone, hold space for someone, each time we speak to a youth about self respect, prevention, setting boundaries, self care, we are making a difference. It is healing for myself and others, and it feels good to heal the pain instead of just dealing with it. Next step will be to receive training as an advocate for survivors of sexual assault. In the very near future, I will begin leading a group of women out here on the Rez that are all survivors of sexual assault and/o domestic violence.
this little photo was taken April 28, 2010 when I first decided to face my fears. This was the first time I took action, and confronted the rapist. Special Thanks to Sabryyah that inspired me both times to take action! I am wearing a teal shaw, war paint, and my feathers that I only wear for ceremony and/or performances. The very next day, my mom told me she had ovarian cancer. It felt as if my clearing of my womb space affected my mother’s womb space. It was just too toxic. Now that she has made her transition, it is time to get back to cleaning my womb space, and to help other survivors to do the same.
Thank Goodness for Cosmic Sound Healing.
Austin, get ready for June 7, 2015…
I’LL BE BAAAACK!
Ankh, Udja, Seneb. Life, Vitality and Health!
Love Never Ends. It changes, and it changes us.
Love always, Tchiya